How to be a parent at Christmas (and not completely lose your shit)

Ahhh Christmas. The time of peace and goodwill to all men (and women. And the bloody kids too I suppose). The ‘goodwill’ bit really is one of my favourite things about the festive season. Strangers saying “Merry Christmas” when you pass them on the street on Christmas Eve, popping in for a sherry with your … Continue reading How to be a parent at Christmas (and not completely lose your shit)

A letter to the girl I used to be.

So here you are; desperately counting down the days and hours until your first baby decides it’s time to make an entrance... I know you’re excited. But Sarah there are a few things you need to know, and nobody else is going to have the balls to break some of this to you so it’s … Continue reading A letter to the girl I used to be.

Confessions of a Mam-in-progress

My name is Sarah, and I like my own kids. There; I’ve said it. Weight off my shoulders that is! Now you might be thinking that admission is not much of a revelation. But for someone whose calling-card is to rant and swear about how her kids have got her absolutely frigging demented; admitting that … Continue reading Confessions of a Mam-in-progress

A blog about being too busy to blog

The irony of writing a blog, about being too busy to write a blog, doesn't escape me. But it's true; I am too busy these days. If the business of being busy is a disease... then I'm RIDDLED with it. This disease stops me from doing the things I love the most; including waffling these … Continue reading A blog about being too busy to blog

No compliments please: we’re female

When you have children, it hits you like a ten-tonne-truck: I will worry about this tiny little gift of mine every single day for the rest of my life. It's ok; I'm fine with that; it's the burden you receive in exchange for the infinite love. The worries are at times completely irrational. For example, … Continue reading No compliments please: we’re female

A holiday: but not as you knew it…

The dictionary tells me that a 'Holiday' is 'an extended period of leisure, rest and recreation; usually describing being away from home.' I would like to rewrite that definition, so that it applies to the fools who have chosen to have (many) children. 'Holiday; an extended period of stress and harassment, involving keeping your children … Continue reading A holiday: but not as you knew it…

5 Signs You’re Having A Mum-Life Crisis

I can't say for sure; but I think I'm having a Mam-life crisis (the Geordie version of a Mum-life crisis). It's similar to the better known mid-life crisis in that it results in some erratic, questionable decision-making and results in the people who know you best barely recognising you. In a moment I'm going to … Continue reading 5 Signs You’re Having A Mum-Life Crisis

From Two Kids to Three: The Year 1 Audit

As with any big organisational change, it seems fitting for me to do a review of this whole 'Having three kids instead of the perfectly rational two kids that most other people have' malarkey. An audit if you like. Being an official report; I have broken it down into easy-to-digest sections for the auditors. Section … Continue reading From Two Kids to Three: The Year 1 Audit

How (not) To Discipline Your Kids

Seven and a half years into my parenting career; there is still so much I do not know. I still have so many questions. Questions I'm hoping you lovely readers can help me with. Some are lighthearted enough. For example; when will they stop telling me they're 'just going for a poo right?'. Seriously, when!? … Continue reading How (not) To Discipline Your Kids

How To Raise Little Boys Who Don’t Grow Into Sexist Arseholes

This morning I made a momentous decision. One which I hope will be impactful not only on my life; but on the lives of my (one day) adult sons. From now on; every time I perform any household or child-related chore; I am going to tell Rob about it. And not only will I tell … Continue reading How To Raise Little Boys Who Don’t Grow Into Sexist Arseholes