The week before Ellis was born; Dylan had a MASSIVE meltdown. It went something like this:
‘How will you love me and Jonah as much when you’ve got an extra baby to love!?
How will I love Jonah as much if I have to love the baby as well!!?
There won’t be enough love for everybody!!!
YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIIIIFE!!!’
Jonah seemed much more chilled. His only stipulation was ‘if the baby has a foof will you please not make me go in the bath with it?’ Fair enough.
Trying to calm Dylandown, I remembered something my friend Lou said to me when I was pregnant for the second time. I had been having mini panics that there was no way I’d be able to feel as strongly about this new unknown entity as I did about Dylan. She had laughed and said ‘Course you will, you just make more love. It pours out of your fingertips.’ At the time I nearly spewed into a bin because I thought it was the cheesiest thing I’d ever heard… Now I know she was dead right.
I recounted this story to Dylan and he said ‘Oh. So love is a bit like white blood cells! Your body just makes more?’ Exactly! Nerd.
I tried to enjoy our last week as a family of four; but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Dylan was going to be a right royal pain in the arse after the baby arrived…
The morning after Ellis was born my Mam brought the boys in to meet their new brother. Dylan wasn’t going to stay very long because he had a party to go to. Oh and this was no ordinary party. This was a Jungle Wipeout Party (don’t ask) which he’d been looking forward to for weeks.
The long story short is that he never made it to that party; due to both he and Jonah being struck down by a severe case of LOVE. They were instantly besotted… and of course very relieved that the baby had a willy, because the alternative did not bear thinking about apparently.
The night we got home from hospital Dylan told me he loved Ellis so much that he didn’t even mind it when he ‘toe’d him’ in the balls, and Jonah assured me that if there was ever a flood in the house he’d give his armbands to Ellis. So far, so good.
Still, I kept waiting for it to hit. The waves of jealousy, the tantrums, the ‘accidentally on purpose’ feeding the baby grapes… but you know what? It never happened. Six months on, I’m still waiting (like a highly agile ninja).
Don’t get me wrong. Having a new baby has not made angels out of demons. They still sporadically beat the shit out of each other and in order to have any semblance of a routine I have had to develop a parenting style (it’s actually a regime) which has resulted in me being re-named Kim Jong Hughes.Rob loves to sit downstairs laughing while I’m apparently ‘going all North Korea on their asses’ at bathtime…
But their baby brother has undoubtedly made them better, kinder little people. Both of them tell me all the time how much they love him. But they really don’t need to; I can see it coming out of their fingertips.